The Favor of Finding
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor and approval from the Lord."
— Proverbs 18:22 (AMP)
For most of my adult life, I heard this verse quoted with a smile.
Sometimes at weddings.
Sometimes in marriage conversations.
Sometimes by husbands who were grateful for their wives.
And while I always appreciated the sentiment, I have come to believe that many of us have become familiar with the verse without fully appreciating its weight.
After thirty-six years of marriage, I find myself returning to Proverbs 18:22 with fresh eyes and deeper questions.
Questions that cannot be answered quickly.
Questions that deserve more than a greeting card understanding of marriage.
Questions like:
What exactly did he find?
What makes a wife "a good thing"?
What kind of favor is Scripture speaking of?
And why would God connect something so sacred to covenant?
The older I become, the less interested I am in shallow answers.
Life has taught me that the deepest truths often reveal themselves slowly.
They unfold through years of becoming.
Through joy and disappointment.
Through seasons of abundance and seasons of stretching.
Through the daily, often unseen work of loving another human being while allowing God to transform you both.
As I have reflected on this verse, one thought continues to surface:
Perhaps the favor was never merely in finding a wife.
Perhaps the favor was in what became possible once she was found.
That thought alone has caused me to pause.
Because for generations we have often spoken about wives as though they were rewards.
Prizes.
Achievements.
Evidence of arrival.
Yet Scripture seems to be pointing us toward something much deeper.
A wife is not simply a person to possess.
She is a covenant partner.
A witness.
A co-laborer.
A fellow heir of grace.
A participant in God's ongoing work of transformation.
In many ways, marriage becomes one of God's most effective classrooms.
It reveals strengths we didn't know we possessed and weaknesses we hoped no one would ever discover.
It exposes selfishness.
It cultivates patience.
It teaches forgiveness.
It demands humility.
And if we allow it, it becomes one of the primary places where God shapes us into the image of Christ.
Perhaps that is why marriage has always been more than marriage.
Scripture teaches that the relationship between husband and wife serves as a reflection of Christ and His Church.
That reality alone elevates covenant beyond companionship.
Marriage is not merely a social arrangement.
It is a living illustration.
A sacred picture.
A testimony that points beyond itself.
The more I reflect on this, the more convinced I become that Proverbs 18:22 deserves a deeper conversation than many of us have given it.
Not because marriage makes a person valuable.
Our value was settled by God long before any human relationship.
But because covenant reveals things that often remain hidden in isolation.
It reveals character.
It reveals priorities.
It reveals wounds.
It reveals grace.
And sometimes it reveals favor in forms we never expected.
As I begin writing A Wife, The Good Thing: Exploring the Sacred Depths of Proverbs 18:22, I am inviting readers into the journey with me.
Not because I have exhausted the subject.
Quite the opposite.
I am writing because I believe there is still more to discover.
More depth.
More beauty.
More responsibility.
More mystery.
And perhaps, more favor than we have yet understood.
For now, I leave you with the question that has been sitting with me:
What if finding "the good thing" was never the destination?
What if it was only the beginning?
There is a statement forming in my spirit that I have not yet fully unpacked:
She is not the reward.
She is the doorway.
We'll talk about that soon.
— Kathy Britt